
A big part of the Human experience is learning how to navigate change. Although we are all part of the natural world and as such, we are subject to its cycles and laws, we often meet with inner resistance to the process of change in our lives.
Years ago, in some of my workshops, I used to share an old Zen story about two monks making a journey from their Monastery to another one high in the mountains. In order to begin the journey, they first had to cross a raging wide river and so set about building a wooden raft to cross safely.
It took them quite a while to make the raft steady but eventually, they were able to cross the river and make it unharmed to the other side. Once there, they saw that the next part of the only path forwards climbed high up a steep and rocky slope. The older and more experienced of the two Monks said a prayer of thanks to the wooden vessel and began the steep climb.
The novice hung back and when the Master asked what was wrong, the novice said “We expended so much effort on making this raft, I don’t want to leave it here to be ruined or perhaps, stolen” He then proceeded to pick up the raft and lug it up the side of the mountain. He sweated and cried out in frustration several times but finally made it to the top where his teacher was waiting, peacefully watching the sun go down. The novice was actually a bit irritated to see this and being unable to hide his feelings he blurted out “Master, why didn’t you help me to carry the raft? It was heavy and I nearly dropped it many times. Your help would have made the journey easier” The Monk smiled and said kindly “I don’t carry with me what no longer serves me. This creates burdens which slow us down from seeing the beauty around us. Instead, I hold gratitude in my heart for what helps me forwards on the path” and the monk gestured to the setting sun in front of them. “Come and enjoy this vision” he suggested to the novice “You have laboured much and are in need of a rest and look – see there? The monastery is only a short walk from here. We have arrived”.
I love this story because it so aptly sums up the way our ego screams in frustration and yet our heart peacefully seeks the beauty in the moment of allowing things to pass naturally instead of trying to grasp onto them. This applies to things that we label as good and bad. If we hold on too tightly to anything we can restrict it and often cause ourselves pain unwittingly.
Have you ever caught yourself sensing or experiencing change and immediately tensing up at the prospect of it? This is natural in a way but it’s more helpful to be able to breathe and go beyond the initial fight or flight response. In surrendering to what is, to the loss or the change, we actually open ourselves up to the solution or to the new experience which is seeking to find us.
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible”
I had this quote in my journal many years ago from English novelist Margaret Drabble and there is a kind of magic to these words. It allows you to be with the fear or resistance. There’s no way to rush through your own process, but it’s good to be able to support yourself by even imagining for a second that what has been lost has served it’s purpose and perhaps what the new offers will be something wonderful.
I have personally found that hope is always the best option in any circumstance. I have also supported many clients through huge life-changing events and even just the stress of making a career pivot. We are always so much stronger than we think, and the power of our heart is beyond the understanding of our mind.
The heart is an energy field which extends so far from our body and connects us to the Divine and our own inner wisdom so that we can weather any storm and come out the other side to watch the Sun rising or setting in it’s natural order. This is a comfort and a personal process and remember, you are not alone in this. We all suffer, and experience change and loss.
There is another quote which I copied out many years ago and it’s from another novelist and I will paraphrase it here “Life breaks us all, but afterwards, many are strong at the broken places” Ernest Hemingway
Love and Light,
Laura